I dont kno how i'm gunna do it, but i'm gunna make him mine :D

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20 November 2009 @ 09:41 pm

Kay so i started watching bb3 and so far so good! I love marcellas! lmaooo. who doesnt really :)

SO ANYWAYS! changes besides the obvious house decorations that i have noticed areeee:

- well big brother got some more money! the competitions have more props :) yay!
- so far both bb2 and bb3 have started with food comps. wonder when the first comp will become hoh?
- Trend: prize after food comp - this time its for money instead of car
- some new music i hear which i like the old music the best
- They once again have to fight for the hottub whereas in the later BB eppis, they just got full privledges to the entire backyard
- Veto Competion was introduced! YAY
- now if i heard right, if one of the nominees win, then they cannot veto themselves? dont think this makes sense..
- ALL houseguests play for the veto
- No more family visits right after eviction

so far, i hate josh! he gets on my nerrrvvvess! and im glad lori left cause i thought she was really annoying. OBVIOUSLY glad marcellas won the HOH comp :) Last eppisode seen was Episode 5

Tags: big brother 3

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19 November 2009 @ 09:23 pm

so im almost done BB2! i was on eppisode 28, when i realized i mised one! and i was going nuts thinking what the hell! i went from 27 to 28! Why wouldnt they show the second part of the HOH competition? Then i saw big brother 2 - unaired eppisode and thought OHHH thats why! okay. so i watched that and got caught up :)
i guess it was cause of 9/11 cause in the begining of ep. 28 they started off by saying that they told the houseguests that 9/11 had occured which i totally forgot had happened that year lmaoo.

anyways this is what i think so far before the finale:

- i realized the music is actually the same lmaoo
- the photowall is so wierd cus there keys hang and because of technology the pictures dont turn to B&W
- The final HOH competition, the winner of the first round doesnt advance to the third round, they all play in the second round, abd then the top two play for the final
- LOVED the survivor twist! it was cute ^_^
- NO FEAST/FLASHBACK EPPISODE! i liked those eppisodes

AND NOW THE FINALE!
(i'm actually pretty excited even though i already no the winner)

-so they say Americas vote is the deciding vote in the event of a tie, was it always like that? i cant remember in season 8, and i kno in season 11 that america was apart of the jurry so i cant remember
- no audience?? that sucks
- HOLY SHIT! Boogie proposes!! wtf! i soo saw it comming once he commented on what he was wearing! did it last? are they still married?
- they go back inside the house? thats so wierd lmao
- wait i'm confused, did they already vote or are they voting now? they keys are already there? SOO CONFUSED
- OH i see now! they get to choose who they want whos vote to not count. thats so wierd!
- omg nicole booked it out of there lmaooo! that was really amusing
- and youtube sucks, it cut me off :(

anyways all in all, very different then recent seasons! it only took me FOREVER to finish it but

Tags: bb2 big brother 2 finale

Current Location: basement

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07 November 2009 @ 06:33 pm

Big Brother cont...

Still on BB2. Episode 19. So basically i like americas choice better in this season. it makes the show more entertaining in ways :) also theres no live voting except for this episode but it might continue for the rest. Also monday meetings are new because of the whole no live voting thing. this season is soo different from BB11 but its not bad! i think BB11 will always be my favourite season tho :)

Current Location: basement

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19 October 2009 @ 07:25 pm

I have decided to watch all seasons of Big Brother in order! i kno i'm retarded for doing so but it helps further understand the game when watching new seasons. i have already seen season 8 and season 11, but i will write what i think when i get there. lets keep things in order, shall we.

I tried watching Big Brother 1 and couldnt make it past the second episode. it was too different and i was really confused. and i found it stupid that America chose who won by calling in. therefore i didn't end up watching that season.

Big Brother 2 - currently watching. on eppisode 5 and so far so good. There are no veto competitions which is strange, but there is an HOH room, just no letters and such. Competitions arent as good for they clearly have less money and cant afford new sets all the time for every competition. this amuses me :). There are food and luxury comps which is gooood but instead of Big Brother slop, its PB and J. this is good for them but slop is more of a challenge.

i'll post again soon.

Current Location: Room

Current Mood:

sick

Current Music: none

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22 July 2009 @ 02:33 am

AHHSDklfaklsdjfkl;asdjflkajsdf;lkajsdklf

GAHHHHHHH
I NEED SOME SELF ESTEEM BOOSTING
i suck
all in all i do
im into photography
and i love it
but i suck
im horrible
fuck my friend takes a picture and im instantly jelous cus its fantastic
and wayy better than any of mine
and shes not into photography
she just took a picture
yet its 2434234 times better than mine
and it just kills me
like
do i really suck that bad?
am i really THAT horrible?
im so confused and just dont no anymore
like
if i go into this business i may not survive
i might just flunk out and get regected
im scared
i dont wanna devote myself to something if its not going to happen
but its my passion
its what i love
i'm so fucked up
like am i trying too hard?
i dont get it
it doesnt take alot of skill does it?
like you click a button
but you need the right angles and stuff
and i cant i just suck
ive gone everywhere too
flickr, lookbook, deviantart, crafter
and i get hardly no feedback
and i advertise in my msn and fb and stuff
but pple dont care
they look and go, cool photos fun
but when they see others its more liek, wow! thats amazing!
and i want that
i want someone to stop and think, man that girl really has potential! she can do something with this
FUCK no one reads this anyway!
its a waste of time yet i always do it
i always sit here and type what i'm going threw
out of all of my entries, this time i'm the saddest
the most depressed
the other things were stupid
but this is my life
this is big, this hurts.
i feel like giving up, cus when i try harder, i just fail more
theres nothing else to do.
and now im try not to cry anymore for pple will hear me and ask
and i dont wanna tell
i feel like such a douche ! GOD!
i was thinking cus i'm tired but thats not it
ive been like this for a while
doubting myself
FUCK the asian 3 year old on the fucking PC commercial takes better photos than me!
GAH I NEED A BETTER FUCKING LIFE!

Current Location: ur ass

Current Mood:

depressed

Current Music: none, but it wuld be down wiht the sickness so i culd sublimitatly scream

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15 June 2009 @ 12:54 am

My life? Well i guess its okay. Sure, my parents are divorced, my nonna has 34243 diseases, my nonno had cancer that may come back, i no longer have a "best friend", and my grades aren't the best in the world but hey, its still not that bad. I mean, these things really suck and all, but suprisingly that doesnt bring me down. Expecially since my parents divorced when i was two, my nonna is fine (at the moment), my nonno's cancer might NOT come back, all my friends can be my best, and my grades CAN go up. As you can see, i like looking on the good side of things. you no, the glass is half full, not half empty (which by the way, saying half empty just sounds wierd. you didnt add emptyness to the glass, you added whatever filled it up). The bad thing about my parents divorce is that i hate my step mom. everything else is fine. If i could choose to keep my parents together, i wouldnt. i no that kindof sounds harsh but its true. i love my steps, and if they didnt divorce, i probly wouldnt no them. Although my nonna is very sick, she is a fighter and medication is kindof on her side. sure it makes her loopy, but its helping her, and i guess thats what counts. the only bad thing to this is that you can tell she hates her medication and that makes her sad which also makes me sad. it also makes her weak which can lead to many other bad things. My nonnos cancer wont be back i think, or well hope, but if it does, it might actually take him away. Hes been through a heart attack, and two tumors. if he gets another one i'm scared it will possibly kill him. The friends thing is just stupid thought. I'm close with all my friends and sure, i dont have a BEST FRIEND, but i have a sister. That can act as a bestie, cant it? well not really. i dont think its the same. I used to have a best friend and we were so alike. And now we go to different schools and barely ever talk to or see eachother anymore. It was nice having a friend you could always turn to when you needed to, you know? And lastly my grades. Sure they dont totally suck, put my parents are expecting honours and that wuld really be nice. I just got a bunch of english assignments back and well, i didnt do to good. my average definately went down and im affraid it might have affected my whole average. i have to ACE my exam or i;m screwed. Well aint that nice. a stupid blurb on horrible things in my life and me trying to make them better. you can tell its 1AM and my insomnia is kicking in. greaaaattt. im going to try to sleep now. hopefully my mind will wonder into a wonderous place where everything is perfect and illnesses dont exist, and love lasts forever.

Tags: gay

Current Location: room

Current Mood: awake

Current Music: nothing

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21 May 2009 @ 12:26 am

and she does it again
my sister i mean
like it pisses the fuck out of me
your probly really confused so i must fill you in
So it all started when she was in grade nine
she decided that was was better than me cause she was in highschool
we went to see her school play in which i met up with friends for she was with her friends
then after the play we wuld go home
so i had to buy my ticket there
and they asked me if i wanted to buy a stamp to go into the cafateria
and i thought nonono i dont think i will need that
so i say no
then after my sister goes you shouldhv got a stamp, now you cant get food after the play
and i was like maybe you shuld have told me prier to me buying my ticket??
wuld that not make sense?
so after the play i was waiting for her and she says she wants to go with her friends into the caf
and i was already sick but i understood that she payed for it
so i said okay but dont be too long, im sick and really wanna get home
ofcoarse it was like nine oclock and when your sick you need sleep
anyway, so she goes
and leaves me alone to wait
so she comes out about twenty min. later and asks me to take a picture of her and her friends
i was like WTF? can we not just GO HOME! i was already embarassed by 38740 people staring me as they walk past me
probly thinking wow wtf is that little girl doing there sitting alone (i was in gr. 8 btw)
so whatever, i take the picture
expecting that we wuld go home after
then she leaves AGAIN!
this REALLY ticked me offf
expecially since i was in a strange building where i didnt no anyone or where anything was, and i was sick therefore really needed to go home
about ten min. later she calls our step dad and we can leave
and oh do i give it too her
as i recalled i yelled at her
i was soo embarassed and still cannot beleive she did that to me
her fucking sister! like really! the least she culdhv done was call my step dad for me so i culd go home
then she culd fetch a ride with a friend
this is the BEST example of how she chose her friends over me
and she always does it
and it hurts
it really does
i just dont understand
i feel like shes so fucking embarassed or something
or as if im not good enough for her
she proves this again today
it was after school and i really didnt want to walk home because i was 1. really tired 2. was wearing a kilt 3. realllyy thirsty and 4. wearing shitty shoes (esp. for walking!)
so as i walked to the exit, i was praying the our walking-home-friend wouldnt be there cause i new she wuld want to walk home
but luck wasnt on my side for she was there
you see, if she wasnt and my sister was there, then i wuld straight out tell her that i realllyy didnt want to walk home
but i didnt want to put off her friend from walking, i;d feel bad
so anyway shes there, and then my sister comes like a second after me
so i try to hint at how i cant walk
first i tell her that im super thirsty (which implies that the faster we get home the faster out thirst is quenched)
she says the realy thirsty too
DING DING DING! i thought YES! perfect so far so good
so then i was like, oh my kilt is soo annoying. didnt no it wuld be really windy today. it kept blowing up on me i swear i flashed 3423 people.
and she basically ignored me
i was liek, alrighty then
so anyway we end up walking
and i look like a fucking retared
picture this: a girl walking in a kilt on a windy day using her tote bag to block her ass by holding it in place and walking in uncomforable shoes therefore making her waddle
yah that was me
and she just completely ignored me
i really wanted to die of embarassment right there
i was soo ready to just fall dissapear from the eyesight of others
so i was like oh, maybe if i roll my skirt down and wear it really low then it wont blow up
and shes like yah... do that....
so i try to make a joke out of it saying, oh never mind, that makes the wind parachute it
and she totally blows me off
as if im fuckign shit stuck to the bottom of her fucking shoe
she just ignored me the whole way
so im a little ticked
and this is what KILLS me
once her friend leaves and walks her seperate way
she talks to me
its like, oh my friends not around anymore, now who will i talk to. OH! my sister is beside me, i forgot. i can talk to her since no one is around to talk to
like really?? i'm not fuckign stupid
i can tell when someone uses me
shes like a fucking window too, she cant hide it
its so fucking clear when she uses people
she actually makes you feel used
shes done it to my cousin in a really bitchy way too
we both can tell how much she is ashamed of her family
or if shes not, then she acts like she is
FUCK she even hangs out with friends she doesnt even fucking like
aslong as there not related to her i guess they pass
it just really hurts
like it makes me cry
i feel a sting of pain everytime she does shit like this
expecially the timmies incident i wrote about earlier
that REALLY hurt
whenever i think about it my eyes get watery and my nose feels funny and my heart flinches with pain
its soo fucking lame but thats how i feel
and she probly will never fucking get it
even if she reads this which i plan on showing her
cus she noes i was pissed after school and keeps asking me
maybe if its spelt out for her then she will see the fucking light!!
i dont no... but i cannot actually TELL her
cause then ill just end up yelling and screaming and im really tired of doing that
im going
to loose
my mind.

Current Mood: upset

Current Music: for the sun by amanda jenssen

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19 May 2009 @ 12:21 am

gahh im soo bored.
dont worry this isnt a rant post where i basically ramble on when im angry
im just superrr bored
So this weekend was victorias day and im not gunna lie it was kindof wierd
usually i get together with friends that live super far away from me and we go to the fair and watch the fireworks and stuff
but this year they didnt come down
and i was at my dads house til sunday
so instead i went to the fair with friends from school
and i was planning on bumping into them
but i didnt
they werent there at alll
we only see them once a year around this time and its been forever now
a year and two days since ive seen them
and im so not a fan of change
i dispise it
although i had buckets of fun, it just didnt feel right, you no?
it was almost like a tradition that got broken
and yes it was packed there so i culdhv missed them
but they usually message me on msn or facebook before they come asking if we were doing stuff
and they didint
i dunno, its probly cause they wanted to do stuff with there other friends
wich i totally understand
but i duno, it was reallllyy wierd
im going to goo
tooodlesss and sweet dreams <3

Tags: random fair victoria day

Current Location: my rooom

Current Mood:

weird

Current Music: slavery sleds by army navy

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02 April 2009 @ 05:58 pm

you wanna kno whyy my dad doesnt think i have a social life???
because whenever i plan to do stuff with friends, he decides to capture me that weekend!!
seriously ! im so pissed!
i kno i havent seen him in forever (kay like 3 weeks) but stilllllll!!
i cant WAIT til i get a job and dont have to go to his house
at least i could do stuff before or after work
he lives a half hour away so thats way i still cant do stuff BTW
GAHHHH
it pisses me off
i need to find a job, and FAST!
before i lose my MIIINDDD

Current Music: Mansard Roof - Vampire weekend

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19 November 2008 @ 06:36 pm

seriously, my step dad is fucked.
today i decided to get cheese and crackers. so i cut exactly 6 pieces of cheese which then i cut them in half to create twelve little pieces (two per cracker)
so im eating and my sister is like can i have one then i was like well u will have to have two cuz then it wont be even and shes like but i only want one and im like to bad so she takes the two.
then my stepdad wants one
and im like noooo i havent even been able to eat them.
and he kept his hand there the whole time when i was eating them
and when it comes to me and food, well, dont even mess with me.
so i was like no im not giving in
and then my sister was like "just give him a peice of cheese!"
and i was like no im starving.
like really, there was a whole block in the fridge. he culdhv got off his lazy ass to get it

and then hes was trying to brib me

FOR FUCKING CHEESE!!
and i was like ur kidding me right??
and he was like dont wory, ill remember the next time u want something
and i was like omg its fuckin cheese.
and so he gets up to go pick up pizza at grand pizza
and he was like i always share my chips with you
and i was like thats cuz you buy them for evryone so we all pick at it
like every one was picking at my small portion of cheese
but anyway and he was like i still share.
and then he left
and i was about to say
"yah so if you had a small handfull of chips you'd give me one? yah right. youd say go get your own the bags over there."
like if i had the whole block of cheese, then i'd be like "yes, you may have a peice"
but i had a small portion of it
so i was a little miffed

SO THEN HE PULLS THIS ONE ON ME

its after supper and where watching chch news, and hes like "kristin, what if uncle brian can only get ONE camera?" refering to the canon rebel which my heart is set on.
and i was like, "then i'd get it...?" for ive been saving for 3 months now and the only reason why he wants it is because it reminds him of his fucking ancient past.
and hes gave me this look like, yah right.
and said "i dont knoo...." his voice going up at the end.
and i was like "ive been saving forever and have enough money for it, i should get it" you no cuz ive only wanted it for about a year now ???!!
and hes like "i have the money two"
and then my step bro. was like "dad, you dont need that"
and i was like DERR!
and now im fucking pissed and ready to snap!
seriously !!!
you dont understand how much i want this camera
its like my life
i wuld die for it
ive been waiting A FUCKING YEARR!!!
and its FUCKING SNOWING AND IM FUCKING PISSED
CHRISTMAS MUSIC CANT EVEN CHEER ME UP!
and i swear if i dont get that camera, he will be sorry cuz i WILL make his life a living hell.

Tags: so angry canon rebel bastard

Current Location: my fucking room

Current Mood:

pissed off

Current Music: drummer boy - jars of clay

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18 November 2008 @ 12:51 am

many things to say...

so, atm, im relaxing listening to christmas music. it is twelve fifty-one AM and im not tired at all. my insomnia must be kicking in. anyway, this week is a very busy schedule! i have a Religion unit test tomorrow--or well today i guess, my art isu is due wednesday, i have a craft bizaar on friday so all evening thursday i will be making stuff, and then also on friday i have semi formal to attend. AND THEN i have to go to my dads house on saturday! crazyyyy week, i just might explode. and the only time i have to relax is in the middle of the night, therefore not allowing me to sleep well. also i cant stand another minuite in my house. i wanna just freak out majorly and scream untill my vocal cords give out! my sister for instance is being a snotty bitch for some reason! i am getting sick of her thinking that the world is all about her! and she seems to have the phrase "family first" misread thinking it means "friends first". and dont get me wrong, i love my friends, but family DOES come first so why the hell is she trying to shut her family OUT. i swear shes imbarrassed by me. So basically on friday, her friend--who is my friend also but more her friend--asks me if i was going to timmies with her my sister and my sisters other friend and i was ike i dunno :S. so then after school im waiting for her cuz well how am i suppost to no cuz she never really told me in the first place cuz shes a little bitch. but anyway, she emerges from the doors with her two friends, and was abou to speak when her one friend wich is also my friend asked me if i wanted to go with them. So to piss her off i say okay. and shes like ...... okay. and then shes trying to get me to go to the football game which was also that day but i didnt have the ticket with me. and she was lke, you can borrow myn. and in my head i was thinking, wow, her fucking friend wants me to go more than she does, and also, what a fucking bitch face i fucking hate you sometimes. so anyway i end up going and she sucks it up cuz theres nothing she can really do about it. srsly, if i culd i wuld beat the shit out of her. but im too nice to do that. i dont hv the guts. so thats my lovely story.
for more exciting news, i am OFFICIALLY getting my canon rebel xs! i am super excifed :D:D:D and also it was snowing lots this last weekend here in canada. YES! like how awesome is that? AND my birthday is officially in nineteen days, which means that christmas is just around the corner (hence why im listening to christmas music)
n e ways ill TTYL

Tags: blah bored random canon rebel

Current Location: mah rooom

Current Mood:

blah

Current Music: drummer boy

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14 September 2008 @ 12:20 am

so this rlly annoying girl follows my friends and i around at school
and we dont rlly like her
she is like the hated one in the group (i love dane cook)
anywayyyy
so weve been trying to get her to sit with pple who actually like her presence
and my friend is dropping hints like for example
we were all going to the library to do homework so she said evryones name who was going exept hers
and was like "bye ____"
and then she said
"i have stinking math homework"
EVEN THO SHE DIDNT CUZ THE WHOLE TIME SHE JUST SAT THERE
she doesnt even add in to convo or anything
unless its like family guy or something
which is pree sad
so now we call her GINA
as in vaGINA
cuz were cool
so anywayy
friday we were trying to ditch her (which sounds mean but like she knows other pple who she can sit with)
so we approch the caf and peek over the window side
and see her standing still just staring into the distance
so we decided she was a robot and was programmed to follow us
so we move so she couldnt see us
but my one friend had to buy her luch so she had to eventually enter the caf
so were trying to divise a plan when my one friend goes OMG SHE CAN SEE US
so we boot it down the hall and threw the door so she culdnt
and we were like shittt!!
so then we decide its like a horror movie
which wuld be vair viar amusing
and my friends one friend want to go up to her for us and tell her to fuck off
but we dont want her too cuz thats like super mean
like omgg
so we get our other too friends to go see what shes doing
and it endsup she finally sat down with her other friends
so we decide to enter the caf and shes not there
so we enjoyed our luch and yada yada yada
so then we have to go to our next class
and we thought we saw her down the call so my one friend goes quick _____(name goes here)
and siad someihting else that i cant rmemgber
BUT
it ended up she was actually infront of us
so she couldhv easily heard my friend say that
which wuld be horrible
so im like omg i feel so bad
so im outside waiting for my ride home
and i mtalking to my sister and my sisters friend

and all of a sudden

BUMBUM BUMMMMM!!!!

guess who randomly desides to stand beside me!
GINAA!!
and she just stood there
didnt say a wordd!
so clearlyy she didnt hear us
and were going to have to go threw the same thing on mondayyy!

SHES SO DAFTTT!
GARR!!

Current Location: ad;falkdhglrf

Current Mood:

annoyed

Current Music: boys like girls

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22 August 2008 @ 07:28 pm

are you fucking kidding me??

omg
i am so fucking angry!!
i dont kno what to do
so today i was doing laundry and there was no room in the laundry room for me to fold my clothes so i had to do it in the hall way
which it the passage way to my stepbrothers bedroom
with is in the basement therefor has no door
and he was sleeping
so i was being quite
so i was just minding my buisness folding when he rolls over and asks me to turn the light in his room off for him
so i obviously said yes :D
and then i continued to fold
i was litterally about a foot into the hallway and my folded clothes were being put on a filing cabnit cus there was no room
so he then gets up and comes to and doorway and was like "dont get used to this"
and i was like "get used to what?"
and he waslike "folding your clothes in my room"
and i said to myself this isnt your room ???
and then said "im just folding it out there cuz theres no room in here"
and he was like "y dont u just take it upstairs and fold it"
and i said "cuz i cant carry it all, it took me forever just to get it downstairs"
i was actually gunna do that when i realized i couldnt pick it all up.
and then he was all like i have no door yu have a door i have no privicy, you do..." yada yada yada about his privicy and stuff
and i was just thinking PRIVICY U THINK I HAVE PRIVICY!!! how do i have privicy when u used to barge into my fucking room every god dam day when you were bored and wanted to piss the fuck out of me!!!! i almost lost it on his ass
but i didnt cuz im not like that
then he went upstairs and told his dad.
HE FUCKING TOLD ON ME FOR DOING MY LAUNDRY 1 FOOT INTO THE HALLWAY CUS HE WANTED PRVICY AND I WAS GIVING HIM FUCKING PRIVICY!! NOT LIKE I WAS FOLDING MY CLOTHES ON HIS BED AND THEN PUTTING THEM ON HIS DRESSER OR SOMEHTING!!!! AND HE HAS NO CONCIDERATION FOR OTHER PEOPLES PRIVICY ANYWAY!! HE SERIOUSLY THINGS THE WHOLE FUCKING WORLD REVOLVES AROUND HIM!!! IM FUCKING SICK OF IT!! AND HE, UHHHH!! IT MAKES ME SOO FUCKING ANGRY! HE HAS NO RIGHT TO DO THE THINGS HE DOES! HE HAS THE WORST ATTITUDE IN THE WORLD! AND WHENEVER HE DOES SOMETHING, THE TURNS THE WHOLE SITUATION ON YOU TO MAKE IT SEEM LIKE YOU WERE THE BAD PERSON IN THE WHOLE SITUATIOn!!
I REMEMBER ONE TIME HE WAS BEING AN ASS LIKE ALWAYS AND I FINALLY STOOD UP FOR MYSELF AN HE MADE ME BELIEVE THAT I THOUGHT I WAS BETTER THAN EVRYONE ELSE. AND I REMEMBER SAYING I DONT THINK LIKE THAT YOU DO. AND HE SAID THATS CUZ I AM BETTER THAN YOU AND YOUR SISTER. YES HE ACTUALLY FUCKING SAID THAT! NO ONE IS BETTER THAN ANYONE!! LIKE SERIOULSY HES A FUCKING DUCHE BAG!! IF HE WANTS PRIVICY, HE CAN FUCKING MOVE OUT!!!
ITS ABOUT TIME ANYWAY!

and to add onto that....

my dad is going to push me to get a job even tho no one hires 14 year olds.
and my cousin even told me that after my birthday she was going to get me into the bay.
and my dad basically wants me too work now which isnt going to happen.
cuz as much as i want a job, no one is going to hire someone who is 14 yrs old, has no expirience exept for baby sitting, and is super shy.
like, you have to be a fucking retard to hire me anywhere.
the only reason i culd get into the bay is if rose tells them that im awesome.
cuz shes my cousin. thats the only way i can work at the bay
and i also have to go to his house every other weekend alone.
cuz my sister will be working.
and i dont have the heart to tell him that i dont wanna go to his house anymore
and ive been feeling like this ever since leanne came into the picture
so i think i was 5.
i HATE going there
i just dont feel welcome.
and now its going to be even more awkward cuz my sister wont be there to add me into conversation
cuz as i mentioned up there, im shy.
even towards my own father
its awkward cuz he doesnt kno me
and he thinks im some kind of loner with a low life
but really im just lazy
i doo have alot of friends
im just not one of those people who culd walk up to them and go
"hey! sup? wanna come over tomorrow???"
cuz im afraid that they will say
"uhm i cant.... i have to.... uhm.... wash my dog"
and i dont really no my friends long enough to be that confortable with them
cuz ive only known them for a year
i;d have no problem asking my friends from elementry skool to chill
cuz i kno there my friends cuz ive basically known them half my life
but my new friends, its only been a year so im not that comfortable.
anywayy i g2g before my fingers fall offf
toodles

Current Location: my room

Current Mood:

angry

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21 August 2008 @ 12:57 am

what i think is funny about miley cyrus is how she think she is all punk rock
it makes me laugh
cuz she is clearly pop
but she made herself believe he is punk rock
and in her one music video with all the clowns and stuff
it looked like she was trying to be like avril lavinge with her hair and clothes
it made me laugh
what i also find funny about her is that in her 7 things i hate about you music video, at the end when shes all like holding the notes on the oooouuus, her facial expression makes me laugh :P

on another note.....

my sister thinks her job at timmys is stressfull cuz some new girl was bossing her around
this made her cry
i was like why r u crying, shes a bitch, get over it.
i guess shes sensitive with that kind of stuff :S
and i dont understand why she wasnt like
could you stop telling me i'm doing stuff wrong cuz i kno what im doing and you really shouldnt be saying im doing things wrong cuz there clearly write and youve only been working here two days so i suggest you shut up.
then maybe the bitch wuld back off and let my sister do her job
i still dont understand how you could classify that as stressful
she is going to have fun when she has a real carreer :\

ALSOO

i was soo close to killing my friend she was being so annoying
i was loading someting on to my portable hardrive thinger and i was away on msn
and in order to load anything on my portable hardrive thinger, i have to unhook my keyboard
so my friend decides to talk to me. when im away. with no keyboard.
and she had already pissed me off earlier so i reallyyyy didnt want to talk to her
so anyway, i had to use character map in order to tell her that my keyboard wasnt hooked up which took forever
and she was all like why dont u just draw what u want to say (cus theres a setting on msn where u can do that)
then i was like it fReeseZ mY comp. (cuz i hate character map)
and she was like soo why dont you just use a screen keyboard
and she explained how to do it and i was screaming into the computer "YOUR FREEZING MY COMPUTER SHUT THE FUCK UP YOUR SO ANNOYING OMG WHEN SOMEONE IS AWAY IT MEANS THEY CANT TALK SO LEAVE ME ALONE" cuz i really didnt want to click every lettter
it wuld take an hour
so then i blocked her and screamed.
i love her and all but OMG
so that is how someone like me gets there anger out
screaming
and with all that my mood ring didnt change to black which means anger
it stayed at blue which means VERY happy and LOVE
so now i dont trust my mood ring.

Tags: miley cyrus blah stress funnt laugh seve

Current Location: my room

Current Mood:

GAR

Current Music: none

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26 June 2008 @ 03:02 am

i had an awkward talk with my dad
he told us that we had to talk to people more (basically my step moms part of the family)
and he accused us of not liking her and her side of the family (which we dont)
but we obviously didnt tell him that we hated her guts
we put on our fake smiles and said "she is nice, and tries to help"
omgsh it was brutal
andddd also he was talking to us about his divorce with my mum
it was sooo emotional and i felt so cold hearted
he was crying
my sister was crying
but i couldnt shed one tear
i felt so mean, and he was clearly really emotional about the whole situation
and i was still mad at him for cheating on my mum
he didnt even mention taht reason
he just said the "their relationship fell apart"
more like you were unfaithful to her
and told her she was lazy cuz she only had to work like ALL FUCKING DAY
he said that leaving us was the hardest thing he had to do in his life
and i believe him
but the fact that he didnt tell the whole truth just pisses me off
and he asked us like fifty times if we had to say anything
and i wanted to flip out on him
but i knew taht i shouldnt
so i bit my tounge.
i dont even want to go to his house anymore
but i cant like stop going now
i am just so confused.
he also basically called me anti-socail cuz im shyy
like fuck you! sorry im shy and enjoy sleeping in
i have many friends fuck face!
and i am a friendly person! sorry i dont feel comfortable asking people to do stuff or invite myself to places and stuff
it just feels so awkward i cant
its just my personality
and i have no cluee waht im suppost to say to my step mom the next time i c her
cuz he wants us to talk to her more cuz she feels that we dont like her (which is true)
soo its basically going to be super awkward when we go next weekend
and i cant stop thinking about this stupid talk!
and im fucking going insanee!!!!! AH
either wayyy i shuld go for its 3:15am
ciao

Current Mood:

crappy

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12 August 2007 @ 07:19 am

time to shed some emotion...

Kay. I am so mad right now at myself. I havent been able to sleep properly in AGES! And its not healthy at all! ive been going to bed at like 4:30 - 5:50am. its not right and i need some help. can anyone comment me with some suggestions?

Current Mood:

pissed off

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12 August 2007 @ 07:12 am

top 5 book series

5. Harry Potter Series - J.K. Rowling
4. The TTYL Series - Lauren Myricle
3. Mates Dates Series - Cathy Hopkins
2. Truth or Dare Series - Cathy Hopkins
1. Georgia Nicoleson Series - Louise Rennison

Current Mood:

tired

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12 August 2007 @ 06:39 am

5. All-American Girl - Meg Cabot
4. Perfect - Natashia Friend
3. Teen Idol - Meg Cabot
2. Faded Denim - Melody Carlson
1. Lush - Natashia Friend

Current Mood:

tired

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12 August 2007 @ 06:33 am

Top 5 Favourite Songs

10. Liar, Liar - Taking Back Sunday
09. Say Anything - Cartel
08. Face Down - The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
07. Yesterday Man - Roz Bell
06. Hey There, Delilah - Plain White T's
05. Believe - Suzie McNiel
04. Misery Buisness - Paramore
03. Simple Life - Sherwood
02. Broken Heart - Motion City Soundtrack
01. Thunder (acoustic) - Boys Like Girls

Current Mood:

tired

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12 August 2007 @ 03:21 am

10. Paramore
09. The Fray
08. Relient K
07. Shiny Toy Guns
06. Straylight Run
05. Mae
04. Plain White T's
03. Sherwood
02. Boys like Girls
01. Motion City Soundtrack

Tags: bands, bored, fun, kool

Current Mood:

blah

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